I spent my weekend resting and trying to recover from the emotional damage caused by the suicide of a young boy and the fall out for the teachers and students at his school. I had not slept all week until last night. I had not eaten all week until yesterday. I had not skipped a minute of thinking about the young boy until today. I still wear the red string tied around my left wrist.
I was comfortably in my bed watching television around 8:20 pm tonight. I felt sleep beginning to crawl over my body and I let out a sigh of relief. The last time I saw the clock was 8:40pm. I was comfortable with the thought of sleeping until my alarm abruptly sounded early tomorrow morning.
Sleep did not keep me captive. I was released at 10:23pm. I rose from my bed and sauntered to the kitchen to fill my water. I sat outside with my dogs for a few minutes and checked my phone for anything I may have missed during my brief touch with sleep.
I opened my email and saw the name of the sender and felt my body instantly freeze. My chest was not completing its usual rise and fall and it took every ounce of energy to convince my thumb to open the email.
The email briskly stated the date, time and location of the funeral of the young boy who committed suicide last week. I had been requested to attend. I tried to let my breath out, but instead I gasped more air into my already filled lungs. This caused me to cough and lurch in my chair.
In that moment my adrenaline and emotions were all forced awake. I looked down at the red string tired around my wrist, and I took a deep breath. In that moment I had visions of the boys mother crying,wailing over her sons dead body in a small wooden box..... a vision that not one person longs to see.